Gone a bit quiet

I realised I haven’t been blogging anywhere near as much as I normally would. Which is weird. Very uncharacteristic of me. What I would say is, that kinda doesn’t worry me? It means I clearly have much less to vent about, less bad going on that I feel the need to lament about. That has to be a good thing.

I’m just taking my baby steps along the way, heavily procrastinating (don’t we all?) and finding a much happier place. With the help of a few people. I’m making huge steps to working out what I want for my future, and it’s comforting. Probably the first time in my life I’ve looked forward with any form of optimism to my future. Rather than the usual looking back with regret. It’s a difficult trait to change, I’m getting there.

Things have changed for me

and that’s okay,

I feel the same,

I’m on my way

 

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Fall Back Down

I stumbled across another cover that I didn’t know existed of this classic. It’s pretty much the song of my childhood, my Dad’s a hardcore Rancid fan. Therefore I am. This song speaks to me about so many different people through my life.

Over summer Emily has been my rock, I’ve been hers too really. We’ve both needed it in our own ways.

One I’ve never met in real life even, but she has always been there like that.She helped me through my darkest points when I was ill.

Another friend I met through gaming, just like the last I mentioned. We’ve met a lot of times and get along great. He hasn’t always been there at an emotional level, but we always have gaming as our outlet together when things go badly. We rely on each other like that.

One is my childhood best bud. We’ve been through thick and thin. When my parents were on the verge of divorce I remember going on a long weekend trip with him and his family. I haven’t seen him in a long time though we’re always in touch and pick things up where we left off.

My trio of bros that I met in university are like brothers to me, they’ve helped me through so much. Dragged me out of depression once already.

This time it’s completely up to me to find myself and I feel like this song doesn’t apply to me anymore. I envy my history that I’ve always had people around me to pick me up in their own way. I really need it right now and I’m lost looking for that person to rely on. I feel very selfish for saying that, but my friends are my strength. I need them. There’s no shame in that, there’s actually a lot of pride from me.

If you haven’t heard the song I’m talking about, find your favourite version from these. I’m undecided.

Inspiration – Watsky

So I was listening through music, as I am the majority of the time and I figured why not share some thoughts?

For those of you that don’t know, Watsky is an American white rapper, not usually my cup of tea at all. But he’s great, if you haven’t heard any of his stuff, check him out here. You won’t regret it, he’s not only a great musician, I’d say he’s a great guy. I find his journey really inspiring.

His lyrics are brilliant, he’ll happily poke fun at himself. I’ve found myself relying on some of his tracks that I related to in my own personal way, I still do. He went viral on Youtube with “white kid raps fast” and has since flowered and gotten so far away from that tag he was branded with early in his music career and reached great heights. He most recently collaborated with Kate Nash in his newest album.

I don’t buy music anymore, I haven’t for years. I have Spotify and Youtube at my fingertips the majority of the time because I’m attached to my laptop 24/7. When he released his second album, I had all of his music that I had downloaded for free from his sites, the rest favourited on Youtube. It’s all I listen to on my phone when I go anywhere. But for once, I had to pre-order his new album “Cardboard Castles”. I got so excited. The day I broke up with my ex after I found out she cheated on me, his signed version of Cardboard Castles rocked up right on time to help me through it. You couldn’t write that shit any better, I strolled to my friend’s house. Told him the news and just passed him the cd, we smoked, chatted shit and drank coffee. Easiest transition from heartache, better than my earlier drunk mad rebound journeys.

Anyway, that’s a whole different story I’ll share sometime. As it’s pretty amusing for anyone but me!

The biggest thing for me, what really hit home was Watsky’s spoken word poetry. It’s brilliant, it’s touching. I’d recommend this guy to anyone and everyone.

I even had the beauty of going to see him on tour when he stopped by in London with the hilarious Dumbfounded. First time I’ve felt too old for a gig, but I didn’t give two fucks. I had the fun of the mini-road trip into London with two of my best friends that I went to the gig with too, I really needed that at the time after my breakup. You’ll have to do a lot to top this guy for heart and soul, live and recorded.

So if you haven’t already left this article to check him out, please do. You’ll find something you enjoy. Starting here is a good idea.

Currently listening to:

So I’m listening to Drive, by Incubus. It’s a song that lately has just sat really well with me. I have a habit to listen to all sorts of music, which if you happen to hang around here, I’m sure you’ll see eventually.

For anyone who hasn’t heard it:

Spotify users
The YouTubes!

I have a habit of listening to songs and taking them in subconsciously. Sometimes, like now: I’ll have a realisation that this song has huge meaning to me right now and it clicks in my head why I was enjoying it so much. I guess I see why it resonates so much with me at the minute.

Lately I’m beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there

With open arms and open eyes yeah

Just a small pick of the lyrics. You could say I’m at a bit of a crossroads in my still pretty young life. A lot of huge and defining decisions are ahead of me and after coming to the decision to quit University and find the happy, optimistic version of myself…You could say I was terrified of the open-ended possibilities, yet feeling so limited at the same time.

I’ve finally came to terms with what’s ahead of me: I don’t know, but I’m embracing what comes my way and doing my best to control my path.

What are you listening to? Does it have any underlying meaning that you didn’t realise? Or are you a little more aware than me and currently have a song that just fits where you are or how you’re feeling?