Time is:

 

I stumbled across this quote, and found that I understood a lot of this from my own experiences.

A great deal of my life has slowed down, I’ve waited a lot of my life. I’ve lamented far too much, you could say. My celebrations have always felt cut short, generally due to going back to the vicious cycle of more waiting or lamenting.

I need to spend more time loving, loving my family, my friends, finding someone special in my life and treasuring them all. We should all treasure this the most, I feel as though I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’m done waiting, done lamenting. Moving forward. I’m going to surround my life in love, and get out of the vicious cycle of unhappiness that I’ve delved into far too often so far.

Life is for finding love, it’s all I really want. It’s all I need. I need to surround myself with people that are deserving of me. Not meant in a horrible way, I just feel that I’ve spent a lot of my time being a giver. Never someone that selflessly takes. It works both ways.

I’m totally rambling now with out-loud thoughts. I guess that’s what this blog is for.

I felt like a little self reflection. But currently I think i’m in a pretty good place, I’m getting there. The future is really promising. I’m excited, I’m optimistic, I’m scared, I’m anxious. I’ve got it all under control, I promise?

Hand Written Letters

Sending letters between loved ones is something that I’ve always thought of as one of the most romantic ways to show someone you care about that they’re still with you. Even if they can’t physically be with you right now.

When my parents were about my age (Early twenties) my mum moved to Turkey for almost a year to work as a nanny for a family over there. Their only points of contact were rare phonecalls and letters. Though I’ve never sent any personal letters like this (hell I haven’t sent any letters in my recent memory fullstop), I think it’s so intimate and shows so much caring for someone.

So yesterday I received a totally unexpected letter, I mean I had no idea. We’d talked about sending letters to each other and how much I’d love that, she’d actually read me a letter that she had wanted to send me. She had decided that it couldn’t really wait and the phonecall at the time was heading in a similar direction anyway so the contents came up.

It was short, sweet, simple. I feel really lucky. 

It feels like a totally new concept for me to have someone in my life that I spend so long thinking about. Times we’ve spent together, how things are now, what the future could hold. Nice things, scary things, beautiful things.

I want someone in my life that I care about, that I think about so often. I want someone that reciprocates the feelings and care that I show for them. I’m anxious and excited about what the future could hold. Though I feel really selfish right now to say it.

She’s everything I want, everything I need. I want to be that for her too. I can be, as well.

Relationships, friendships and everything in between

As much as I wish this song fit my thoughts right now, it’s quite the opposite.

I’ve realised that I can actually expand on my last thinking out loud on this topic(I’m awful at being single). Both old relationships and new ones that have dynamics that I don’t want to misread, both mine and their feelings-wise. I love finding people that I have tons in common with. I would find a lot of my friends that are girls physically attractive, but obviously I never really realise or think about it, but I can acknowledge y’know?

I guess I don’t want to misjudge dynamics and ruin things, from both old and new sides. You never truly know if you’re compatible in a relationship, no matter how close you are before that. I don’t want to ruin something that already works so well in its own way. At the same time, I don’t know if I misread something new, I just can’t determine great friend or something “more” with a few people lately. I’m my own worst enemy I swear.

Thinking about this out loud just makes me think that I’m being a moron on every front. Which is totally possible.

Online Dating – Step 1

I promised I’d share for those that are interested in my venture into online dating, and generally looking to meet new people. Thanks to the wonderful author of http://marieaterrell.wordpress.com/ in my last post, I went ahead and signed up to http://www.okcupid.com

Here’s my experience so far:

 

I had a sleepless night last night, left alone with my thoughts and decided to sack up and dive into it. I went over to the site and made a profile, I answered the questions supplied to me after I filled out my profile and got a feel for the site a little.

I have to say, I should be paid by these guys for the endorsement I’m about to give their site. I’m not, but just saying!

The beauty of the site is that it’s entirely free, you’re not limited greatly like I found with match and match affinity in particular, which is pretty frustrating I felt. You can openly message any matches, you can search based on the match percentage, area and many more variables to find what you’re looking for. You can view images of your matches that have been posted. You get a simple show of how frequently a person replies to messages, their relationship match, friendship match and even conflicting views or opinions between you.

You’re notified when you receive a message as well as being shown who has viewed your profile. So I got into it, completed my profile, I still need to add a few more pictures to my profile to complete it. But I’ve got started at least.

I followed through suggested matches in my area, sent around 19 total messages to possible matches that I had plenty in common with. It’s only about 12 hours on, just for reference at this point since I made the account, let alone finished it. I got some sleep, woke up to a few notifications from the site.

So far I’ve had

• One response from the messages that I’ve sent out.
• Fifteen individual people view my personal profile.
• Two girls approach me with messages.
• One of which I’ve chatted to for a few hours after adding each other on WhatsApp.

To be honest, I was surprised that I’ve made this progress so quickly. It’s really encouraging that I’ve had interest. My profile clearly wasn’t written as badly as I thought (I’ve re-written several parts and constantly made additions), either that or I’m just a catch! I kid, I kid. A tiny bit of attention isn’t going to my head, but I’m making progress.

I’ve met a couple of talented musicians, which I find super attractive, I just get daydreaming about singing duets in a really cheesy fashion. Fuck I’m lame!

Anyway, the girl I mentioned on speaking to through WhatsApp is really cool, we’re getting to know each other. She lives a little further than I’d hope, so it might be a little difficult to arrange a date. But why not be optimistic, at the end of the day I’ve still had the chance to meet someone who shares tons of my interests and is apparently into me as a person. It’s the sort of ego boost that will never hurt.

I’m sure I’ll post more updates about the good, bad and ugly side of online dating as I get to experience it. This is still my beta test right now, time is definitely on my side.

Thanks to anyone that has given me support, kind words, advice and shared experiences with me. You’re the reason that I’m even sharing this at all. Anyone new that stumbles across my blog: drop me a comment, share any of your own experiences or thoughts with me. I’m still learning, there are plenty of things for me to work out with this. Hope you enjoy the ride.

Related articles

• So I’m thinking of online dating (melancholycontemplation.wordpress.com)
• I’m trying online dating (melancholycontemplation.wordpress.com)

I’m trying online dating

This is a follow on from my previous blog post “So I’m thinking of online dating”. Check it out if you haven’t, or drop me some advice, share some of your own experiences with me. I’d love to hear them.

Yeah I’ve taken a day or two to come around to it and man up, but I’m tired and can’t sleep. This is often the sort of time where I make big decisions, you decide on if that’s sensible or dumb.

I’m going to sift through the massive amount of choices and after a little advice as well as a good amount of comforting from the super friendly author of http://intothebeauty.wordpress.com/. I’m not planning on spending any money here, just put some time into it. I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, time to nut up or shut up!

I’ll probably give updates on some details, though I’m expecting nothing out of this. Who knows? It’s an experience that I haven’t explored before, either way. It’ll be fun getting to know some new people, if we’re not compatible..well..Nothing ventured, nothing gained eh?

As super apprehensive as I am about it, I know I’m going to struggle a hell of a lot writing the little about myself. Wish me luck, I’m going in.

Related articles

• So I’m thinking of online dating (melancholycontemplation.wordpress.com)

So I’m thinking of online dating

So i’m thinking of online dating, I’m a 21 year old guy. I’m about 3 months out of my most recent relationship, which ended pretty poorly, but no hard feelings. I want to move forward.

I don’t know anyone where I’m living now, at all. No friend groups, I’m not working yet so no casual interaction with anyone whose eye I might be able to catch, or develop a relationship with. Online dating feels like the logical answer, but the notion terrifies me. Not only that, it makes me feel super lonely.

Is it lame and desperate of me at 21 to want to sign up to dating sites and meet people that way? I just want to find the right girl, you know. I’m also pretty daunted at the options, if i just google online dating I could spend the next fortnight signing upto new websites.

I guess what i’m saying is, please help me out here. Will it be a positive experience? Will it be something I look back on and say: “That’s where I found my wife” 

Where should I start? Or should I even start?

I mean, beside this I have a daydream of visiting a coffee shop in my town and bumping into the most beautiful, perfect, available girl. I’ll much more likely find a group of retired women and a lovely, but very married woman, with children.

Anyway, what do you think I should do? I need your advice, internet.