What’s new? Big steps

Hi little corner of internet, how’s it going? Good weekend?

Mine was hugely uneventful, I have like no social life (not even over-exaggerating here) since moving away from University and back “home” with my family, though it’s like 7 hours away from where I was born and raised.

I realised one thing: I haven’t touched my guitar or been singing for the last couple of months. Really awful. I need to get back doing it because it puts in a miles better place, especially to hear feedback from the odd few here that drop by to listen to my recordings. So over the next few weeks i’m going to work on the first song writing in about 6 months and just get back into my stride.

I’m starting a short (10 week maximum) English class just to pick up basic qualifications that I don’t have because I was ill when I should’ve been picking these up. I’ll be following it up with Maths too and whatever else that comes up. It’s quite..no. It’s demeaning. I’m not gonna lie. When I dropped for the initial testing and introduction class there were 4 people including myself there. Everyone else was at least 10 years older than me: one woman could barely use the pc that the test was on, one guy was Polish and didn’t speak great English.

I might come across as an arse or a hypocrite to comment on them, but I’m aware that as a 22 year old man this isn’t where I seen my path leading. Anyway, it’s a positive just to slap that on my CV and move on. It might only take me a few weeks because of the level I’m at. After say 6 years since I was being taught this stuff at school, there’s a lot of odd things you don’t actually realise that you’ve forgotten. I’ll pick it up in no time. The important thing is that I work individually and the class that I share with others doesn’t limit me in even the slightest of ways.

I mean, the biggest news is something that I’m still trying to be reserved with. But to be completely honest: I’m so fucking excited/apprehensive at the same time.

I got the job interview for ICT support technician at the local school that I was so keen for.

Now, I’ve been given the chance that I’ve been so desperate for. I deserve it, I really do. This job would be a walk in the park to be completely honest. It pays well, I could easily progress by showing the drive that I know I have in me. One thing that has always appeals to me in a job is the chance to dress well daily. I look fucking good in a suit, just saying!

There’s a writing job within the League of Legends E-sports community too that I stumbled across. The deadline is tomorrow and they want a sample piece of writing that I’ve kinda struggled writing. I was going to ask for advice here about whether or not I should go for it or just focus on the other job.

Unlike the other writing work I’ve done within gaming: this actually offers pay. It’d still only be something that I spend..I don’t know. Probably all in all a max of 12 hours a week working on combined with research. What I didn’t mention is that they’re hiring for content writers within either Korean, Chinese or Taiwanese competitive gaming scenes. I actually follow the Korean scene because it’s classed as the best in the world. I just need to do A LOT of work to learn everything I need to.

So I’m gonna spend my afternoon trying to write a respectable sample article and send off an application there too. I’m sure that I could keep up with both. If I don’t get it…well..Nothing ventured, nothing gained right?

This has gotten a little wordy, but i’m bouncing at the minute at the thought of being given a chance by this school. I really need to smash that interview come Friday. I’ll be sure to update before then anyway.

For now, hope you’re all well with whatever part of the path you find yourself on. Keep smiling.

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I get distracted easily.

I really do get distracted easily, I guess I can’t get my head in a good place lately. Everything is a maybe or hopefully, or it feels like it.

I shut myself off when I feel down, or just unwell. I stayed in bed today until 3 just feeling utterly down and depressed. For once I want things to line up and go the way I want. Actually no, the way I deserve. I’ve even shut myself off from venting here, which is just illogical. God, I suck.

I know that this sounds selfish, but I’m serious. I want the girl, I want the job, I want the happiness. I don’t want the money problems. I don’t want the health problems. I want things to start falling into place. I’m tired of the world shitting on me and giving me a challenge daily. Some have it harder, a lot have it easier than me. One thing’s for sure: I’m sick of how 21 years of my life have turned out.

Tomorrow I have a job interview for a job that I want. You know what? I’m going to get it.