Time is:

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I stumbled across this quote, and found that I understood a lot of this from my own experiences.

A great deal of my life has slowed down, I’ve waited a lot of my life. I’ve lamented far too much, you could say. My celebrations have always felt cut short, generally due to going back to the vicious cycle of more waiting or lamenting.

I need to spend more time loving, loving my family, my friends, finding someone special in my life and treasuring them all. We should all treasure this the most, I feel as though I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’m done waiting, done lamenting. Moving forward. I’m going to surround my life in love, and get out of the vicious cycle of unhappiness that I’ve delved into far too often so far.

Life is for finding love, it’s all I really want. It’s all I need. I need to surround myself with people that are deserving of me. Not meant in a horrible way, I just feel that I’ve spent a lot of my time being a giver. Never someone that selflessly takes. It works both ways.

I’m totally rambling now with out-loud thoughts. I guess that’s what this blog is for.

I felt like a little self reflection. But currently I think i’m in a pretty good place, I’m getting there. The future is really promising. I’m excited, I’m optimistic, I’m scared, I’m anxious. I’ve got it all under control, I promise?

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The Future

A lot of my future is a doubt.

My entire future is a doubt, full of unknowns and questions with no answers yet.

A Youtuber that I watch commonly came out with the line that his Dad would say:

Only two things in life are problems, medical and relationships. Money solves everything else.

That really resonated with me and right now you could say I’ve got two problems. Which when I think about it so bluntly, that really sucks. I’m 21, if I had everything set now then I wouldn’t have grown and matured how I have, I wouldn’t be the man that I’m happy to have become. I haven’t got anything physical to speak of as an accomplishment in almost 22 years. Does that suck? Of course. Do other people have it worse? Yes, a lot worse.

I’m blessed to have what I do, I’m building towards my future. Fuck anyone who says i’ve not accomplished anything. Your own personal sense of accomplishment and growth are so important in this life. Nobody even knows why we’re here. We’re all looking for answers to questions that we may never find.

Lets enjoy the ride and stop being so damn materialistic. Even i’m guilty of that at times.

Bromance

So, I’m a heterosexual guy. Lets get that clear, though I like sausage. Not that kind of sausage, get your mind out of the gutter, god. I’m into girls. Just for clarity!

I made an awesome friend while I was at University, after I dropped out to seek a little happiness that I’d lost along the way..I guess I took it for granted that I was leaving behind a few things that I had in my life that did give me daily happiness, as well as a little sanity.

Just having a mate that lived four doors away from me that I could just call at the drop of a hat and say “brew?” and he’d just go “the door’s on the latch, come over” and hang up. Was simple, was effortless, and now I love hours away from my best friend. Or for that matter, from any of my friends.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family to pieces. But I’m sure you understand what i’m getting at. My uni friends weren’t just uni friends, they were my friends. A lot of them I’ll have as part of my life for years to come, even if we’re not in the same place right now.

Anyway, no homo and all. But I miss my bro. I miss having someone just hang out with and shoot the shit. Times can get lonely in a new place. Nostalgia can occasionally bite you in the ass.