My monday – the interview that never was

So I slept maybe two hours max. I dragged myself out of the warm bunker that bed feels like on days like this at like 12 o clock or so. Worked out the journey (My dad was driving me, neither of us have been to Brentwood before) for the office that my job interview was at.

Rock up there 10 minutes early, super nervous and anxious to get it done and just go smash it. In an insanely coffee fueled great mood. I wait in the lobby after the receptionist says nobody is in their office. I wait for maybe 20 minutes and feel forgotten about so get the receptionist to see what’s going on. I figured it was around lunch time, not too rare a deal.

I then find out that I should have been contacted and that my interview has to be rescheduled for another date due to staff shortage because of illness. Great. So my day hasn’t really started, I spent towards two hours travelling for nada. My brother has a week off work, so privacy to play guitar, sing or record are fairly out of the window. Oh yay living at home!

But it’s not all bad at all, what an unusual phrase for me to type eh?

Strangely I’ve crossed paths through okcupid with an American girl that’s essentially just my type on a plate. Which is awesome, and obviously sucks too. A lot. I’ve had a lot of fun chatting to her, it’s awesome to learn more about American culture and just little things. You still spell colour wrong ‘murica. That bugs me, fuck!

It’s nice to just meet someone that is effortless to talk to, is interested in you and the whole experience doesn’t feel like an effort. We spent hours and hours talking, sharing embarrassing stories, complimenting each other, learning about each other’s lives and cultures. It was just really nice. If you’re reading this Lara, I think we have competition for my favourite American. I’m sorry!

Obviously it’s a total pen pal scenario, but I like that a lot. In a very pathetic way it’s nice to feel wanted? I really do feel so lonely lately, I don’t keep constant contact with anyone at all.

You know, all in all I’m in a better place. All things considered. I’m still in a good mood regardless of my non-event Thursday. I got to share my picture with a beautiful girl that I’ll very likely never meet. She thinks I’m handsome.

Rule #32: Enjoy the little things

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Online Dating update

I realised that a lot of people seemed fairly interested in seeing a single guy’s view of attempting online dating so I figure I should give another update. It really isn’t something that I’ve fully committed to lately. I mean, I’ve made it fairly clear lately that there’s someone that I’m on the fringe of a relationship with, I’m really happy with that and how it could go. Time will tell eh?

In terms of OkCupid, over the course of..I’m not sure how long it has been actually. I’ve met plenty of nice people: some Americans that somehow stumbled across me or vice versa, I realised that I really do have a type as well (I could spend an entire post on this, maybe I will some time), I met a few girls that seemed interested but I never had enough of a connection to want to pursue anything and then a few girls that were interested in me, fairly direct but either timing didn’t fit, they lived too far away or things just didn’t seem to fit or click enough for me to pursue them I guess.

It probably makes me sound like either a coward or a perfectionist, I’m probably a bit of both haha. I think if I lived in London or another city that online dating would be really accessible. I live kinda close but not close enough for my liking to London, it’s just logic that the majority of my matches are from London because of the amount of people there in comparison.

Anyway, it was an interesting experience. I’ve hardly been near the thing for a couple of weeks really. Excluding the odd message from this really nice girl that lives fairly close I guess. Unless I’m just oblivious and dumb (A reasonable possibility), we just get along fairly well and it’s nice to chat to her occasionally.

I actually decided to make this post because out of literally nowhere I got a text from a girl that I’d gotten along with really well, she’s like a lot of women I’ve been involved with: confusing as fuck, to put it simply. Really sporadic texting, I just randomly over a week ago didn’t get a reply from her after she’d suggested meeting up. I’d say she was the only person that I met through OkCupid that I’d have been interested enough to meet up with. I’ve either misread it, or she’s awful at this (whatever this is). Either way, I’m not really a fan of being picked up and dropped randomly.

I highly doubt I’ll mention it again, that’s my very small online dating adventure summed up. If I lived in London then I’m sure this would be a much better read. I think I’d already found what I was looking for and I didn’t realise, to be honest.

Acceptance

So I recently shared my “anonymous” blog with three people. One that I’d just met through OkCupid that I’ve previously mentioned, she was interested in what I blogged about, she’s maybe reading this I guess! Well hey, it’s quite nice to share such a personal insight into myself in a way, though it’s daunting and I feel that I’m probably being judged. Ah well!

I also shared it with two of my closest friends that know me so well that I don’t think anything personal I’ve shared will really bother them, I don’t worry that they’ll think any less of me, or think of me differently. One has been my friend for so long and she helped me through so much, my lowest lows. I actually realised after sharing it with her that I’ve almost taken some of my thought processes and approaches to certain parts of life from her. I can’t thank her enough for that to be honest, I remember she told me once that I pretty much became a man over the time we got to know each other to more recently. (Or words to that effect anyway)

The other friend I shared it with is actually a newer friend, I’ve never once thought of her that way because we’re so similar and we were instantly comfortable around each other in pretty much every way. It’s so rare to find someone that you just fit with, I cherish it and value it so much. Friends that I’ve trusted enough to share my inner monologue of positives and negatives spewed out onto these blog pages are friends that I hope I’m lucky enough to keep through the rest of my life.

I guess I’ve realised that this is actually a small insight into me that I’ve opened up to very few people. I’m happy that I’m not embarrassed or scared to share this with at least some people, baby steps eh.

Online Dating thoughts

I’ve only been trying this out for a real short amount of time, I’ve already found a few issues, or just little annoyances I guess! It’s still not a perfect system, for sure. It feels more like a work in progress really.

I live close in Essex. This means people in London are classed as “nearby”. That’s 95% of my matches, which limits quite a lot. I’ve already met someone that I’m probably going to head into London to meet, but it turns into a day trip and it’s not cheap to be honest. Could just be a massive disappointment, but if you don’t try you won’t know I guess!

I think my “matches” are hard to work out, I don’t even know my type half the time, good luck internet working that one out.

I keep running into girls that look like my ex and remembering that’s my type, which I still find a little uncomfortable, or it feels wrong.

I get the feeling my type doesn’t live in Essex. Or they’re taken, or hiding. Probably taken. I’ll keep up with it, I’m sure something interesting will come from the experience one way or another, I can’t be the only one that has this problem though!

 

Online Dating – Progress?

I’ll keep up with some mentions of progress or anything I think people might find interesting. This is just a blog thinking out loud really, because I found myself with a predicament that I didn’t expect.

So I’ve gotten talking to a girl that shares tons in common with me, she’s lovely, we get along pretty well. What I didn’t notice when I looked at her profile I actually missed noticing that she has a four year old little girl. I didn’t even consider that I might meet someone with a kid, it hasn’t changed my approach or my opinion at all, don’t get me wrong.

I guess I don’t know how I feel about it. It came up into conversation when I asked her about her last ex and she mentioned it, I guess she assumed I’d noticed it in her profile. I don’t know if it bothers me, I really like her, I’ll probably go on a date with her when I’m free and see if we’re compatible before I even put too much more thought into it.

One thing that’s important to me is that I want to be a dad more than anything else in my life, I want a family of my own that depends on me. I want to have stability in my own life so that I can support that, though.

Has anyone been in a relationship where their partner has a child from a previous relationship? I’m curious about what it changed in the relationship, if anything for you. Even if you haven’t experienced it, what are your thoughts on my situation?

I guess it didn’t even cross my mind until it just came up and surprised me.