Link

https://soundcloud.com/melancholy-acoustic/anyone-else-but-you-the-moldy-peaches-acoustic-solo-cover

You deserve to fall in love with:

“Life’s a littl…

“Life’s a little weird. We’re all a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with our own we fall into mutual weirdness. We call that true love.”

A Promise

I promise that within a week I’ll record (I’d imagine a pretty poor quality all round) cover of this song. I love it, it means a lot to me and I just want to sing it.

My first memories were my last summer, I was really down. I was in a suit in the pouring down rain and my day had only just started, nobody had let me into their house or even given me the time of day in my first three hours. I was a door to door salesman last summer incase I forgot to mention that.

Anyway, to cheer myself up I’d be strolling along so cheery, and that one day (I didn’t make a single sale all day until the last 20 minutes of roughly a 10 hour day) I just sang away. I sang this song a lot, amongst others. It really kept me going.

Fast forward and this is a song that Emily (I previously mentioned her plenty, you’re probably bored of me talking like this aren’t you) actually recorded this song specially for me. I love her version, she has a beautiful voice.

You know, I really can’t help..

Late night thoughts and a fitting song

I can’t sleep. A lot of thoughts are going through this silly head of mine. I think this song just fit, this chorus has been ringing through my head all night.

Time together is just never quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time, all the time

I can’t wait to see you. We need time, only time.

Hand Written Letters

Sending letters between loved ones is something that I’ve always thought of as one of the most romantic ways to show someone you care about that they’re still with you. Even if they can’t physically be with you right now.

When my parents were about my age (Early twenties) my mum moved to Turkey for almost a year to work as a nanny for a family over there. Their only points of contact were rare phonecalls and letters. Though I’ve never sent any personal letters like this (hell I haven’t sent any letters in my recent memory fullstop), I think it’s so intimate and shows so much caring for someone.

So yesterday I received a totally unexpected letter, I mean I had no idea. We’d talked about sending letters to each other and how much I’d love that, she’d actually read me a letter that she had wanted to send me. She had decided that it couldn’t really wait and the phonecall at the time was heading in a similar direction anyway so the contents came up.

It was short, sweet, simple. I feel really lucky. 

It feels like a totally new concept for me to have someone in my life that I spend so long thinking about. Times we’ve spent together, how things are now, what the future could hold. Nice things, scary things, beautiful things.

I want someone in my life that I care about, that I think about so often. I want someone that reciprocates the feelings and care that I show for them. I’m anxious and excited about what the future could hold. Though I feel really selfish right now to say it.

She’s everything I want, everything I need. I want to be that for her too. I can be, as well.

Can’t help..

I love this song.

Tiring, sleepless nights. Alone with my thoughts

I have such a struggle with sleep lately, to the point of exhaustion. So many thoughts in my head. To be honest though, not the same all over the place thoughts about anything and everything of my life for once. I just can’t stop thinking about someone.

Telling an already really close friend that you feel more for them is totally daunting, but this is so different to any situation I’ve been in. I think about how much we have in common, how comfortable and..right it felt just to hold you. I’m just stupidly, head over heels infatuated with you in the most complicated way. I wish it wasn’t complicated, I’m sure the saying is: nothing worth having is ever easy. Can’t remember where I heard it, but it’s pretty fitting.

I’m so bad when I’m just left to my thoughts, but I guess that’s a big part of why I started blogging, it’s a little outlet for my mind to drop some of the baggage off. Which sounds weird when I put it like that. I worry so much that you think more of me than I’m actually worth. I’m not the great catch you see me as, even though I want someone that thinks that highly of me. It makes me worry that I can’t live up to your expectations. Sleepless nights and thoughts really make me sound insane sometimes I swear.

Right now: I’m excited, I’m happy, I’m scared, I’m nervous. I want to sleep so that I can keep dreaming, but my mind doesn’t want dreams to turn to nightmares. Certain song lyrics stick with me at times and I relate to them in my own personal way. So many songs have memories of emotions and certain times in my life. Both old and new.

Are you there, or are you just a decoy dream in my head?

Am I home or am I simply tumbling all alone?

(On the wing – Owl City)

Does anything feel strange?

‘Cos you’re like a perfect dream and I can’t seem to awake

I’ll lose it all somehow.

(Holiday – Swimming with Dolphins)

Please don’t, don’t make me sleep alone
If I could, I’d only wanna make you smile
If you wanna stay with me a while
(Make you smile – +44)

Take my hand,

I’ll teach you to dance,

I’ll spin you around, won’t let you fall down,

Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet,

Give it a try, it’ll be alright

(All about us – He Is We)

I’m awful at being single

I’ve realised lately, I’m good at being in a relationship. Granted I’ve had really bad experiences lately in relationships, but I still miss being that close and intimate with someone more than anything else. Which is half the reason I’m so bad at being single, I think at least.

I keep second guessing myself. Do I like this girl? Why is this girl so into me? What does she actually think of me? How does she find me attractive? Am I attracted to her, or is it the intimacy that she offers?

When I put the last question like that I cringed, but I left it there. That’s kinda the biggest worry for me, I’m not the kind of person to toy with someone, but I genuinely don’t know right now if I’m at a weird point of loneliness where I’m just craving intimacy and it changes the way I think about such things.

Probably just me overthinking, I have a habit of putting a lot of thought into things that I blog about. This is definitely no exception. I’m kinda just on the fence about what or who I want right now. Things are complicated, that’s new for everyone right? heh.

The girls I dream of being with are never attainable. Complications complications complications.

Anyway, yeah. I suck at being single. I guess I need to work myself out a little.

Link

I’m actually pretty annoyed with myself, a friend got into Macklemore and mentioned it to me MONTHS ago and I shrugged it off because of thrift shop being played to death everyone at the time.

I’ve stumbled across his “less popular” tracks and wow. I’m just so impressed with this guy as a human being, his beliefs, his opinions, his words, influences, general demeanor. If you haven’t already listened to “Otherside” or “Same Love”, do it right now. Here, I’ll help.