Late Night Melancholy Contemplation

I’m often reminded why my blog is titled as it is, tonight is fitting.

I must have fallen asleep while I was watching whatever crap film I had on, fully clothed at around 10. I woke up at maybe half past 2 feeling empty, alone and upset. I think I was dreaming of Emily. I don’t really remember dreams these days, but I just woke up with such strong negative feelings with her on my mind. I just know I saw her with someone else. I was almost in tears.

I’ve been in a pretty good place lately too, a positive one. That’s for sure. This has kinda knocked me on my arse. I guess I’ve avoided how bad it feels to seemingly lose someone that’s really important to me completely from my life. It hurts. I feel really lonely tonight, just…empty? I guess.

I’ve never lost someone that I’ve been so close to in this way.

I should finish this tea and sleep, late night thoughts eat away at me.


So, I’m a heterosexual guy. Lets get that clear, though I like sausage. Not that kind of sausage, get your mind out of the gutter, god. I’m into girls. Just for clarity!

I made an awesome friend while I was at University, after I dropped out to seek a little happiness that I’d lost along the way..I guess I took it for granted that I was leaving behind a few things that I had in my life that did give me daily happiness, as well as a little sanity.

Just having a mate that lived four doors away from me that I could just call at the drop of a hat and say “brew?” and he’d just go “the door’s on the latch, come over” and hang up. Was simple, was effortless, and now I love hours away from my best friend. Or for that matter, from any of my friends.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family to pieces. But I’m sure you understand what i’m getting at. My uni friends weren’t just uni friends, they were my friends. A lot of them I’ll have as part of my life for years to come, even if we’re not in the same place right now.

Anyway, no homo and all. But I miss my bro. I miss having someone just hang out with and shoot the shit. Times can get lonely in a new place. Nostalgia can occasionally bite you in the ass.