Pre-Interview Nerves

So I’ve got a big interview tomorrow, i’m really anxious for it. My mum teaches at the school that the job would be at and the entire department knows that, they’re not stupid. They’ve even mentioned it to her. The manager of the ICT department told my mum today that five people are interviewing for two (I think?) jobs. There were three outstanding applications and one of them was mine.

So why am I so nervous? I figure because it’s actually a really good job and a huge opportunity for me to get a steady job and progress too. I’ve laid everything out, picked everything that i’ll wear, set alarms, done everything to be ready for this. I’m just worried that I interview badly for once I guess. Weirdly excitedly anxious.

 

I got a sharp new haircut, kept my facial hair but trimmed neatly (I don’t want to look like a fucking student at a school where I want a job. But I’m 5″5..so that’s a tricky one). I had an absolute fucking nightmare trying to take out my ball-nose ring too. Had to actually go to a piercer (about 10 places enquired to later) to get it taken out with pliars. But all good, I’ve got a tiny little nose stud in now, I feel like I’ve lost that little bit of rebellion that I was holding onto.

As soon as I get some coffee in me and suit up I’ll get into my pre-interview swagger mindset and do great. I’m sure. Kinda. Hopefully. Probably? Maybe. Yeah, no I should do.

To be honest, being around school kids..I can’t help but just feel like this:

I actually got a call back from another job I had applied for weeks back and had a phone interview for. I’ve got another interview for that on Tuesday. But to be blunt, I want the job I’m interviewing for tomorrow. I really do. I’m gonna get it too, I’m confident. Just anxious because I almost feel like it’s mine to lose..That probably sounds dumb, but this is why I tag this sort of post as “rambling” eh?

My monday – the interview that never was

So I slept maybe two hours max. I dragged myself out of the warm bunker that bed feels like on days like this at like 12 o clock or so. Worked out the journey (My dad was driving me, neither of us have been to Brentwood before) for the office that my job interview was at.

Rock up there 10 minutes early, super nervous and anxious to get it done and just go smash it. In an insanely coffee fueled great mood. I wait in the lobby after the receptionist says nobody is in their office. I wait for maybe 20 minutes and feel forgotten about so get the receptionist to see what’s going on. I figured it was around lunch time, not too rare a deal.

I then find out that I should have been contacted and that my interview has to be rescheduled for another date due to staff shortage because of illness. Great. So my day hasn’t really started, I spent towards two hours travelling for nada. My brother has a week off work, so privacy to play guitar, sing or record are fairly out of the window. Oh yay living at home!

But it’s not all bad at all, what an unusual phrase for me to type eh?

Strangely I’ve crossed paths through okcupid with an American girl that’s essentially just my type on a plate. Which is awesome, and obviously sucks too. A lot. I’ve had a lot of fun chatting to her, it’s awesome to learn more about American culture and just little things. You still spell colour wrong ‘murica. That bugs me, fuck!

It’s nice to just meet someone that is effortless to talk to, is interested in you and the whole experience doesn’t feel like an effort. We spent hours and hours talking, sharing embarrassing stories, complimenting each other, learning about each other’s lives and cultures. It was just really nice. If you’re reading this Lara, I think we have competition for my favourite American. I’m sorry!

Obviously it’s a total pen pal scenario, but I like that a lot. In a very pathetic way it’s nice to feel wanted? I really do feel so lonely lately, I don’t keep constant contact with anyone at all.

You know, all in all I’m in a better place. All things considered. I’m still in a good mood regardless of my non-event Thursday. I got to share my picture with a beautiful girl that I’ll very likely never meet. She thinks I’m handsome.

Rule #32: Enjoy the little things

100th post – one of my favourite songs covered and a small update

So I had an awful night, it’s very Emily related. I think things are done, like finished. Over. I guess? I don’t really want to talk about it, I’m kinda numb to it and I think I should just try to move forward and try to grow as a person. I’m really upset and I didn’t want this sort of thing to define my milestone of 100 posts, it has been a weird ride. I wouldn’t say I’ve even made any forward steps over this amount of time. I’ve met some really nice people, and this experience helps me a lot. But progress? Lacking. I’m definitely a work in progress.

I just got myself a spur of the moment haircut, I’d pretty much say to put it simply I now have a Macklemore haircut. I feel very Essex and it isn’t me, but it looks smart, and I think it suits me. Whatever, the beauty is that hair grows eh? But in a suit I’ll be fairly dapper for my interview Monday.

I had a spare 5 minutes to myself so just picked up my guitar and recorded this: I love this song, I can hardly compare to the original but that doesn’t bother me. I guess this song sums up my current mood pretty aptly. Have a great weekend.

What’s the crack?

I think that’s a northernism, I mean “What’s going on?” or “How’s it going?” by my title for those that wondered if I’d gone mental. Anyway, that’s cleared up. So, what’s the crack Callum?

Well after a wasteful, pretty relevant to the whole “melancholy contemplation” worthy day of nothingness I dragged my arse out of bed and decided to at least make productive steps.

I’ve got a job interview on Monday, I was approached by a company I applied at over summer and they kept me on file. Pretty sweet huh? All I really know is that the company is a marketing and PR firm, a pretty decent one at that. The job description is so far vague, but it’s a good sign that I was contacted and the job isn’t officially listed anywhere for new applications. I really hope this is the foot in the door that I need, it could be a total flop. Fingers crossed?

Gonna get myself a much shorter haircut that I’ve been complimented on many a time when I had it. Hard to argue with someone that I have a biased opinion of. I look good enough to be hired in a suit, Northern charm is totally a thing..honest.

Other than that, I’ve realised (Yeah it won’t sound like much to a lot of people) but I’m actually currently classed as part of the top 5% of all of Europe in League of Legends and still rising the ranked queue. This is all while playing on a laptop that barely even runs the game. The nerdy part of me wants to quote Jax from the game and say “Imagine if I had a real weapon”. Wow, yeah that happened. But it gives me a little self confidence that I AM good at what I invest time into, it’s not wasted and I’m quite at home where I am there.

So as a result of that I’m back on to writing articles and really putting effort into them. I’ve got new thoughts on certain aspects of the game that nobody seems to have picked up on so I need to go and get my content out there in an entertaining way that should be well received. I’m excited.

So yeah, not a lot is going on. But for a days worth there I feel as though there has been some degree of accomplishment and positivity. Granted this cloud is still hanging over me, but I almost caught a glimpse of the sunlight today.

Progress? I’ll take it.

Hired

So after my interview thursday at a local primary school for an administration job, I was called the day after asking to come in for a meeting with the business manager. I was pretty chuffed, I’d shown my interest in two of their available posts. I was the first person of several that interviewed for the same job, and clearly it did go as well as I thought. I’m starting next Monday, I’m pretty relieved to have found something. Having nothing to do here while unemployed is pretty frustrating and lonely as well.

This’ll actually be my first full time job, I’ve either been ill or in education upto this point. I hope that I can cope with the hours, to be honest, I don’t think there’ll be very often I’m rushed off my feet after meeting everyone in the office that I’ll work in. I think I might actually be the only guy that will work in the office. Good job they already all really like me haha (Two of the women I’ll be working with interviewed me)

I’m really looking forward to it. It pays really badly because it’s only an apprenticeship, but I pick up the relevant qualifications. So in the long term it’s worthwhile, even if I don’t find use for the administration qualification. No experience is bad experience I figure. It seems like a really nice environment to be in.

She did warn me of the importance of how we come across to parents, that they’ll be shouting at me and I just have to take it. I had a thought in my head of just straight telling an annoying parent to fuck off. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t do that. Better not..

Job interview and self confidence

I got to do one of my favourite things today, I got to suit up.

If I could wear suits every day for the rest of my life, I totally would. I always feel great, some people think I look great too. To a degree, I share that opinion. Though that makes me sound anything but modest. I had a job interview that would normally feel really daunting and scary, but you know what? It wasn’t at all.

I just went into it and decided just to show the employers my personality. I just wanted to make them laugh and show that I’m a great person to be around. It’s far from my ideal job, probably not what I’d want to be doing. I would be settling, but I need something right now. I still feel like I’d be rushing into something that didn’t fit me very well. If they call me in the next few days to offer me the job, I have absolutely no idea how I’ll respond.

It’s an admin job, the same primary school listed an ICT technician job too, which I’d probably prefer. Though neither would be challenging in an academic or mental way. I feel good about how the interview went.

The woman asked me what my i’d say my biggest accomplishment is, it totally stumped me..I answered with this:

Well, I once came second in a Donkey Derby when I was younger.

I totally killed them, and then answered it straight. But I’d already accomplished what I went there for: to get a little of my personality across and have fun with it. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t constantly joke or come across badly. I did myself total justice and the two women interviewing me really liked me.

I asked to be put forward for the ICT technician role too, I think it’ll suit me better. I think they know that too. I have no idea whether or not they’ll hire me, I guess i’ll find out soon enough. Their decision could shape my short term future, that’s really odd to realise. Scary.

I wish I could just move back to Newport with my best friends, so many people I love there. I just can’t do it, my head rules my heart on that one sadly. Short term I’d be the happiest guy around, longer term I’d do myself and anyone around me damage by doing it I think. Which is a shame for more than one reason, but mainly for one reason.