I don’t mean to brag, but..

So I’m still unemployed, oh the joys. The last week I’ve made the same constant effort daily applying to places. No luck at all. Ugh. I actually was made to apply for unpaid work experience that’d look good on my CV. I figured it was better than nothing and went ahead with it. I got turned down for that too, oh the embarrassment. My poor ego was fairly dented.

So I had my fortnightly sign in just a little earlier, tell people how I’m doing and so on. Generally I’m well presented, feeling good about myself, chatting away with my adviser, she’s lovely and we get along fine. I like to think I brighten up her shitty Fridays. I wasn’t my old self, I look and feel like shit. Winter seems to do this to me ever since I got ill, I just feel flat I guess. I was just in tons of layers, lost my glasses?! 

Yes like Velma, funny internet. Funny. But I was running late, so I just decided to be blind.

So I put my earphones in on my way back home, maybe a 20 minute walk. I put some Watsky on and decided he’s right. “You’re a lost dog, I’m a boss hog” and listened to some of his awesome old tracks and one of his spoken word pieces “I don’t mean to brag, but..”. Put a massive smile on my face and went about my more usual walk home. Yeah I still feel shitty, but I made sure I smile at the very least. I even bought myself some peanut butter on the way home because I’m random like that. It’s totally my go-to comfort food. I might just get myself a spoon…

So I guess everyone can pick themselves up, I didn’t have an excuse to be in a bad mood other than just not feeling my best. Epiphany: I’m never at my best, I’m still working towards it. Better keep trying daily or I’m just slowing my own progress. Happy weekend internet.

100th post – one of my favourite songs covered and a small update

So I had an awful night, it’s very Emily related. I think things are done, like finished. Over. I guess? I don’t really want to talk about it, I’m kinda numb to it and I think I should just try to move forward and try to grow as a person. I’m really upset and I didn’t want this sort of thing to define my milestone of 100 posts, it has been a weird ride. I wouldn’t say I’ve even made any forward steps over this amount of time. I’ve met some really nice people, and this experience helps me a lot. But progress? Lacking. I’m definitely a work in progress.

I just got myself a spur of the moment haircut, I’d pretty much say to put it simply I now have a Macklemore haircut. I feel very Essex and it isn’t me, but it looks smart, and I think it suits me. Whatever, the beauty is that hair grows eh? But in a suit I’ll be fairly dapper for my interview Monday.

I had a spare 5 minutes to myself so just picked up my guitar and recorded this: I love this song, I can hardly compare to the original but that doesn’t bother me. I guess this song sums up my current mood pretty aptly. Have a great weekend.

Post Breakup – Embarrassing Story

So we all react in different ways after breakups, go back a year and after almost a year of on/off with the first girl I ever slept with, I decided to stop being so damn unhappy and cut those ties. So I did, and it was harder than I thought, we argued tons and the low moments distinguished any flame that tried to spark during our best times.

It hurt, yeah. I dealt with it badly, I’ll probably do it again. I spent maybe two months drinking copious amounts of anything (mainly wine, a lot of wine) and this story I’m sharing starts that way. It started just going for a quiet drink and catching up with some old mates, the girls got bored of us and were a bit “clicky” so we left them to it and I caught up with my two best mates.

For some reason we decided we’d drink wine, we had drank two bottles of wine each before we even realised, 3 guys in a pub with 6 empty bottles of wine is a weird sight, on reflection. I’m a massive lightweight as it is, I was rocking it like a heavyweight after my breakup. Well, I remember parts of the night, I had the rest filled in from the little the other guys remembered.

So we decided to hit up some of the shitty clubs, we had to walk for about half an hour to get there. Apparently we made it, I think it was a Friday, so it was a pretty busy night. We kept drinking, because we’re sensible like that. These guys had one aim of the night, and it was to get me to start moving on and stop being such a mopey little bitch. I decided to stop caring and just have a laugh.

Amongst odd flirting, picking up a few numbers, I’m a pretty selective and reserved guy. Or I was, I’ve sort of came out of my shell, gained a lot of confidence along the way.

Apparently I strolled upto this woman who was about 40+ and started chatting her up, which she absolutely loved. What I found out about her:

1) She had children.

2) Her husband was at the bar buying them drinks.

So she didn’t seem to care about this, she was loving the attention. We left that club there, she pointed her husband out at the bar and waved him over. He was massive, covered in tattoos and 6″6. He luckily wasn’t the smartest and didn’t realise what had been going on, or I probably wouldn’t be telling this tale at all.

We went onto the next club, or went on a few detours between. Maybe stopped at another pub for a pint. I really don’t even know. Somewhere along the way I stopped drinking for a little bit, the three of us turned on our charm with a group of girls and had a really good laugh. One of these girls was into me, we got talking a little (I think?!?) and necked (Do people know this term or is it a British thing?) for quite a while.

I think I bought everyone shots, I know all I could taste was Tequila for a few days, I don’t have to be Sherlock for that discovery, this is where my night blanks completely. I wake up back at my place, apparently I told my mate that I left them and went off with her and found them later.

My mates told me I just came up to them both with a serious look on my face and just said “You know that girl I’ve been with for the last hour? She just asked me if I was gay.”

So they told me, I said she asked me that and I didn’t say a word, just turned and walked away. I found it so hilarious being told, I was far too drunk to know what was going on, to be honest.

A memorable night, for mad reasons. There are plenty more if anyone finds my major misfortunes and life failure funny. I like looking back and having a laugh at it, maybe you guys did?