I want to learn to speak a foreign language

So just to make things clear, I generally didn’t achieve or apply myself at school. I was bored, there was no mental challenge and teachers would call me by my older brother’s name..He was an arsehole at school. So they all hated me, I put in tons of effort into my first few years of high school, got straight A grades and was top of all of my classes. I found zero reward for it so stopped caring, then eventually was too ill to continue with school.

But anyway! I digress, as usual.

I want to learn a foreign language, German! I spent two years “learning” German in school and know nothing of it, my brain is a sieve at the best of times. I spent even longer in school “learning” French, I think it’s a nightmare of mine to be stuck alone in France. Guh!

So yes, German eh? Yes. I actually have German (Or maybe Austrian?!) relatives way down the line on my father’s side. Not 100% sure, my Grandma is way cloudy on most things, never mind her family tree. But also, my favourite American happens to speak fluent German and has had a spell over there. So I feel like she is great motivation to learn?! If that makes any sense at all.

An ex of mine and her mum would speak Welsh together when they were being secretive, bitchy or even the odd time loving and sweet. I found it really intriguing that they had this closeness and such a tight bond I suppose. It wasn’t something I’d really witnessed before. I’d quite like to have that with someone, in a personal sense. Be able to just chat away, be rude about someone, talk about someone behind their back. Silly shit like that. But also to be able to find words that sound more fitting to feelings or thoughts that I want to convey. For all I know they’re just not right in English and I’ll find them in another language. So I better get looking.

I mean, it bothers me that my brain is a sieve and my memory is terrifyingly awful. But maybe it just needs work and I need the motivation that I seem to lack for so many things throughout my life, the present isn’t an exception.

I’m a work in progress, I’m sorry if that bothers you. But look, I’m working on it okay? You know what, fuck that. If it bothers you, you’re not wanting me to succeed and find my much deserved happiness.

So, German. I’m searching online looking for ideas of the best ways to almost self-teach. I mean, I’ll get some help along the way, but this needs to be something that I seek out and just do. Has anyone recently learned a foreign language? How did you do it, any advice, tips or tricks to help me out?! I’d really appreciate it.