Online Dating update

I realised that a lot of people seemed fairly interested in seeing a single guy’s view of attempting online dating so I figure I should give another update. It really isn’t something that I’ve fully committed to lately. I mean, I’ve made it fairly clear lately that there’s someone that I’m on the fringe of a relationship with, I’m really happy with that and how it could go. Time will tell eh?

In terms of OkCupid, over the course of..I’m not sure how long it has been actually. I’ve met plenty of nice people: some Americans that somehow stumbled across me or vice versa, I realised that I really do have a type as well (I could spend an entire post on this, maybe I will some time), I met a few girls that seemed interested but I never had enough of a connection to want to pursue anything and then a few girls that were interested in me, fairly direct but either timing didn’t fit, they lived too far away or things just didn’t seem to fit or click enough for me to pursue them I guess.

It probably makes me sound like either a coward or a perfectionist, I’m probably a bit of both haha. I think if I lived in London or another city that online dating would be really accessible. I live kinda close but not close enough for my liking to London, it’s just logic that the majority of my matches are from London because of the amount of people there in comparison.

Anyway, it was an interesting experience. I’ve hardly been near the thing for a couple of weeks really. Excluding the odd message from this really nice girl that lives fairly close I guess. Unless I’m just oblivious and dumb (A reasonable possibility), we just get along fairly well and it’s nice to chat to her occasionally.

I actually decided to make this post because out of literally nowhere I got a text from a girl that I’d gotten along with really well, she’s like a lot of women I’ve been involved with: confusing as fuck, to put it simply. Really sporadic texting, I just randomly over a week ago didn’t get a reply from her after she’d suggested meeting up. I’d say she was the only person that I met through OkCupid that I’d have been interested enough to meet up with. I’ve either misread it, or she’s awful at this (whatever this is). Either way, I’m not really a fan of being picked up and dropped randomly.

I highly doubt I’ll mention it again, that’s my very small online dating adventure summed up. If I lived in London then I’m sure this would be a much better read. I think I’d already found what I was looking for and I didn’t realise, to be honest.

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Online Dating thoughts

So lately I’ve been getting a little bit disheartened and lacking motivation with this. Don’t get me wrong, there are some really nice girls that I’ve got along with just fine, but I guess I’m not okay with fine. I haven’t really met someone yet that I would actually be excited to meet, if that makes sense. It did in my head. Probably just sounds like I’m being super picky and dumb.

I mean, I’m 21. I’m not going to let it bother me or try to force something for the sake of it. Focusing on myself and my own happiness is still pretty much number one focus for me.

Anyway yeah, I’ve met a lot of really lovely American girls through this site, I’ve realised that I love meeting new people and finding out about even little things they do that are different, just how someone on the other side of the world lives their life. When it comes to girls that live vaguely close to me (London included), because of where I live, nobody is immediately close to me and it puts me off meeting someone I guess.

I’m considering meeting up with a couple of girls, one is really into me, though she has a young kid which I’m still not sure what I think about. I don’t really want to put name tags to these girls, I guess I’ll avoid doing that, as much as I could think of a few witty nicknames for some of them!

I’ve spoken to another girl quite a lot, we seem to get along fine. The problem is that you just don’t know if there’s any chemistry without meeting someone, and she seems really off about meeting up. Which sucks, but her loss I guess. Not worth my effort I figure.

A couple days ago when I was pretty much losing all interest in this endeavour I got a message from this absolute stunner, to put it bluntly. We have tons in common, she loves that I play guitar, she seems really into me and pretty forward about it. It caught me off guard but I like it. The idea of my first date as a result of the whole online dating experience still feels a little daunting. If i’m travelling into London to meet someone for the day, I think I just want to be sure I won’t have a nightmare of a time and be sure I have some sort of connection before hand.

Rather than just instant messaging and small talking she just wants to Skype. I won’t hold my breath, but maybe I won’t give up on this online dating lark just yet. A girl that knows what she wants, why do I feel like that’s a rare characteristic of women that have been in my life?

Online Dating – Step 1

I promised I’d share for those that are interested in my venture into online dating, and generally looking to meet new people. Thanks to the wonderful author of http://marieaterrell.wordpress.com/ in my last post, I went ahead and signed up to http://www.okcupid.com

Here’s my experience so far:

 

I had a sleepless night last night, left alone with my thoughts and decided to sack up and dive into it. I went over to the site and made a profile, I answered the questions supplied to me after I filled out my profile and got a feel for the site a little.

I have to say, I should be paid by these guys for the endorsement I’m about to give their site. I’m not, but just saying!

The beauty of the site is that it’s entirely free, you’re not limited greatly like I found with match and match affinity in particular, which is pretty frustrating I felt. You can openly message any matches, you can search based on the match percentage, area and many more variables to find what you’re looking for. You can view images of your matches that have been posted. You get a simple show of how frequently a person replies to messages, their relationship match, friendship match and even conflicting views or opinions between you.

You’re notified when you receive a message as well as being shown who has viewed your profile. So I got into it, completed my profile, I still need to add a few more pictures to my profile to complete it. But I’ve got started at least.

I followed through suggested matches in my area, sent around 19 total messages to possible matches that I had plenty in common with. It’s only about 12 hours on, just for reference at this point since I made the account, let alone finished it. I got some sleep, woke up to a few notifications from the site.

So far I’ve had

  • One response from the messages that I’ve sent out.
  • Fifteen individual people view my personal profile.
  • Two girls approach me with messages.
  • One of which I’ve chatted to for a few hours after adding each other on WhatsApp.

To be honest, I was surprised that I’ve made this progress so quickly. It’s really encouraging that I’ve had interest. My profile clearly wasn’t written as badly as I thought (I’ve re-written several parts and constantly made additions), either that or I’m just a catch! I kid, I kid. A tiny bit of attention isn’t going to my head, but I’m making progress.

I’ve met a couple of talented musicians, which I find super attractive, I just get daydreaming about singing duets in a really cheesy fashion. Fuck I’m lame!

Anyway, the girl I mentioned on speaking to through WhatsApp is really cool, we’re getting to know each other. She lives a little further than I’d hope, so it might be a little difficult to arrange a date. But why not be optimistic, at the end of the day I’ve still had the chance to meet someone who shares tons of my interests and is apparently into me as a person. It’s the sort of ego boost that will never hurt.

I’m sure I’ll post more updates about the good, bad and ugly side of online dating as I get to experience it. This is still my beta test right now, time is definitely on my side.

Thanks to anyone that has given me support, kind words, advice and shared experiences with me. You’re the reason that I’m even sharing this at all. Anyone new that stumbles across my blog: drop me a comment, share any of your own experiences or thoughts with me. I’m still learning, there are plenty of things for me to work out with this. Hope you enjoy the ride.

I’m trying online dating

This is a follow on from my previous blog post “So I’m thinking of online dating”. Check it out if you haven’t, or drop me some advice, share some of your own experiences with me. I’d love to hear them.

Yeah I’ve taken a day or two to come around to it and man up, but I’m tired and can’t sleep. This is often the sort of time where I make big decisions, you decide on if that’s sensible or dumb.

I’m going to sift through the massive amount of choices and after a little advice as well as a good amount of comforting from the super friendly author of http://intothebeauty.wordpress.com/. I’m not planning on spending any money here, just put some time into it. I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, time to nut up or shut up!

I’ll probably give updates on some details, though I’m expecting nothing out of this. Who knows? It’s an experience that I haven’t explored before, either way. It’ll be fun getting to know some new people, if we’re not compatible..well..Nothing ventured, nothing gained eh?

As super apprehensive as I am about it, I know I’m going to struggle a hell of a lot writing the little about myself. Wish me luck, I’m going in.

So I’m thinking of online dating

So i’m thinking of online dating, I’m a 21 year old guy. I’m about 3 months out of my most recent relationship, which ended pretty poorly, but no hard feelings. I want to move forward.

I don’t know anyone where I’m living now, at all. No friend groups, I’m not working yet so no casual interaction with anyone whose eye I might be able to catch, or develop a relationship with. Online dating feels like the logical answer, but the notion terrifies me. Not only that, it makes me feel super lonely.

Is it lame and desperate of me at 21 to want to sign up to dating sites and meet people that way? I just want to find the right girl, you know. I’m also pretty daunted at the options, if i just google online dating I could spend the next fortnight signing upto new websites.

I guess what i’m saying is, please help me out here. Will it be a positive experience? Will it be something I look back on and say: “That’s where I found my wife” 

Where should I start? Or should I even start?

I mean, beside this I have a daydream of visiting a coffee shop in my town and bumping into the most beautiful, perfect, available girl. I’ll much more likely find a group of retired women and a lovely, but very married woman, with children.

Anyway, what do you think I should do? I need your advice, internet.