Daily frustrations

I’ve had three hopes and intentions for this week.

The first being to send a letter to Emily, but as much as I’ve thrown away scraps of paper with my scruffy handwriting..I just can’t find the right words to sum up anything that I want to say. I don’t know.

The second was to get a response (hopefully positive) for the job that I applied for previously and really want. Heard nothing, haven’t had a response to my email. When I called them late last week I was told that interviews would be done early this week and that they’d be in touch. Really shitty not to at least tell me I haven’t got the job, huh.

Last of all was the promise I made to record myself playing a song. I’ve recorded sound a little today and just hate how I sound. Completely. I haven’t got a decent microphone and my inbuilt laptop mic doesn’t pick up my voice clearly at certain tones. That and I just hate the sound of my own voice. I couldn’t find any video recording software on my laptop that I thought I would have, I have video with no audio or vice versa. A little annoying and I’m quite tired of making excuses. But yeah.

This week’s going well, I’m just tired of little everyday things chipping away at me and still feel powerless to make a positive impact on my own life right now. Let alone anyone else’s. It’s probably better than I’m single right now and try to pick up my own pieces, if I can manage that.

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Soundtrack to my day

I’ve been listening to all sorts really, but this song is brilliant. Sort of fits my mood lately in the whole negative light. Yeah I’m working on that, sorry. 

I don’t like music that’s generally shouting and aggressive a lot of the time. But sometimes it’s a nice release. I’ve got a whole playlist with The Bronx, Rage Against the Machine, Rancid, The Distillers, Lars Fredriksen, Operation Ivy, Misfits, Gallows and System of a Down on. Sometimes, rarely it fits my mood. I’ve grown up around my dad actually listening to this sort of stuff. I know it all really well.

I had the pleasure to see these guys live in Bristol early this year and they didn’t disappoint. It’s not the sort of gig that I ever feel like I fit in at, I even came out with a shiner from a good elbow to the face in the mosh pit. Was an experience you could say haha.