I hate a lot of things, a lot of people too. I more hate that I’m stuck in this pit of hatred for so many things that I have no control over. I hate that we’re not talking. I hate that we’re over just like that, and that we didn’t even have that conversation face to face. Even by phone. I don’t know. I hate that you’re definitely still reading my blog, even though you promised that you wouldn’t.
I wish I understood you. I haven’t changed, as much as I’ve struggled a lot with things lately. I’m the exact same guy, just this is how I am when I’m unhappy. Maybe that is different to what you knew. I’ve never had a more defining moment of being knocked on my arse as our last conversation. I can’t bring myself to message you because I’ll be facing this ugly, hateful person that just isn’t you at all. I’d never met her before. I don’t want to again.
I feel awful for having hurt you, it was never my intention and to be compared the way I was to him is just horrible. I’m not as numb to this as I thought I was. But we’re done, you said it yourself. I still don’t know how to process that. I can’t.