I weighed myself this week and realised that i’ve lost about half a stone in the space of around three months. I’m 7 and a half stone, or 105 pounds (I think?) for those that use pounds. I lost a lot of weight when I was ill and slowly built back up to around 8 and a half stone. So realising that i’ve lost this much weight not only scares me, but it disgusts me.
I just checked my BMI before this, as a sort of reference:
My self confidence is literally at an all time low. I don’t even think I could physically be with anyone the way that I feel right now, it’s a good job I’m hopelessly single eh? I can see my rib cage clearer than ever. It’s just horrible. There’s literally no way anyone can find me attractive as I am. I genuinely believe that.
I wanted this to be my point where I’ve realised and accepted that I need to bulk up a little and at least find a healthy weight. I think my target should be around 9 stone. The motivation is simply that I hate my body more than I ever have, it can’t stay this way.
I hate to be one to complain (Yet I do it a lot huh, ironic), but I’m sick of people that are overweight complaining. It costs you nothing, you probably save money eating healthier and exercising. For me – I get exhausted, terrible muscle and joint pain for days after a simple run. I can’t afford to eat my body weight in KFC (as much as I’d love to), and I have no sympathy for you. Like at all. My situation is so much worse, and i’m probably as unhealthy as you.
What actually bugs me more is how much I struggle to gain weight compared to how easy it is to lose weight, yet there’s half a Tesco full of low fat bullshit. I have to dig around to find anything that is full fat or simply not just low fat. Ugh. Yeah i’m done ranting, I just hate the way society approaches the topic.