Today for me has mainly consisted of lying in bed until fairly recently and moping. I swear I’m far too good at it. I’ve hit a weird point of thinking about my life and how it really feels like there’s so little for me. I need to find that desire and hunger for something that I can make a solid part of my life.
I’ve realised that through either pride, fear or otherwise that even my closest friends don’t know everything that’s going on in my life right now. One way or another, be it about my unhappiness, my personal struggles, my relationship failures or otherwise. I contacted the primary school that held a job for me and told them that I had been offered another role. That’s bullshit though, I just didn’t want to work there after giving it thought. I’d hate it and feel like I’m not making any forward progress.
I just don’t know where I’m going or what to do with myself right now. I should probably have a better idea right now. I just don’t.
MelancholyContemplation 