I really do get distracted easily, I guess I can’t get my head in a good place lately. Everything is a maybe or hopefully, or it feels like it.
I shut myself off when I feel down, or just unwell. I stayed in bed today until 3 just feeling utterly down and depressed. For once I want things to line up and go the way I want. Actually no, the way I deserve. I’ve even shut myself off from venting here, which is just illogical. God, I suck.
I know that this sounds selfish, but I’m serious. I want the girl, I want the job, I want the happiness. I don’t want the money problems. I don’t want the health problems. I want things to start falling into place. I’m tired of the world shitting on me and giving me a challenge daily. Some have it harder, a lot have it easier than me. One thing’s for sure: I’m sick of how 21 years of my life have turned out.
Tomorrow I have a job interview for a job that I want. You know what? I’m going to get it.
MelancholyContemplation 