Underweight

So I’m a short guy, (5″5) and really slender, last time I visited the doctors and had a basic height and weight check I was basically classed as practically anorexic on the BMI scale. Doubting that has changed. I have really high metabolism so putting weight on is pretty challenging. Since I got ill when I was about 14, I lost about a stone and haven’t really put on any weight since. I haven’t really got any left to lose either.

I realise lately that I have such a problem with eating, I just have so little motivation and find eating a chore even sometimes. I get that sounds a bit weird, it is really isn’t it? I get the feeling unless I change how I think about it I’ll always stay the same weight, it doesn’t hugely bother me but I can have some days where I’ll just feel awful about myself. Just daily eating seems to be a challenge, is it just me that feels like this about food?

It’s not that I have a massive complex about my body image or anything like that, I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin generally. I just struggle to actually eat three meals a day and have a set routine that I don’t get frustrated with.

I guess I should make more of an effort to sort this out before I waste away. As my grandma always says “That boy needs a good tatie pot!”. You can tell she’s Cumbrian haha. I need to find some way to motivate myself with a healthy combination of weight and muscle gain. I fucking hate exercise without some sort of goal though, when I was younger I lived, ate and slept football until I was told I couldn’t anymore after getting ill. I lost pretty much all of my muscle mass that I once had, I’m just scrawny now. I’d actually love to take up boxing or something similar because I could compete, but if I was put into a weight division right now I’d be fighting 14 year old girls.

I guess I still haven’t worked out how do motivate myself to be healthier. I actually get very frustrated with people that complain about being overweight when I struggle so much in my own way. Very few people really understand it and they just think that they’d rather be my weight than theirs. They’re mistaken there.

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