I must be difficult to be friends with

I can have “bad days” with M.E, I can get ill like someone else would and it knocks me on my ass. I can spend a week or two doing nothing, I don’t mean like some people do “nothing” and it turns out to be a lot. I mean nothing, barely leaving bed, becoming a hermit. It totally sucks, but it comes with my illness. I’ve accepted it, it can just be hard for some friends to tolerate or get used to.

Friends that have known me anywhere past six months just know it’s part of who I am, it’s not intentional, and I can’t help it. My biggest problem is that I ignore my phone and social media when I’m not feeling myself, or when I’m feeling depressed. I just shut myself off until I’m feeling better. Which I guess can be difficult.

I have some great friends who it doesn’t bother. At one point in the majority of my friendships it has been a problem at some point, generally when I’ve been in a state of relapsing and taking backwards steps (Happened after a messy breakup). So I guess the friends that haven’t seen me at my worst just think I’m being an arsehole, but it’s actually just my way of dealing with my own problem. Kinda sucks that it becomes a secondary problem that I need to explain it so much and try to give friends more understanding.

I get why it would be annoying though from the other side. Just wish I could swap this illness over to a friend on one of my bad days and give them the perspective they never actually get, even though they try to understand.

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